The Prickly Pear Queens Guide to Gardening

THE SEED CATALOGUES

2010-04-27T12:29:00.000-05:00

Seed catalogues, or catalogs, depending on where you live, start arriving at most gardeners’ homes just about three weeks before Christmas. That is plenty of time for us to get all the gardens put to bed for the winter and a good taste of the winter to come. We are already longing to be in the garden instead of in the house.
If there was a National Contest of Seed Catalogue Receivers, I would be the winner hands down, all I would have to do is wheel in with my stacks of goodies and everyone else would give up and go home.
The reason I get so many catalogues is no surprise: I order from nearly every one of them.
I am so tired of being in the house that by the time the first one arrives all I want is spring and as quickly as possible. With that in mind, as I look thru each one I find something that I have never seen before, that I have never tasted before, that might be better than what I planted last year, germinates quicker, grows bigger, tastes better, there are countless possibilities.
One year I pledged only to order from a few, postage costs were increasing and all gardeners know you can pay double or more for postage on one packet of seed than the seed alone costs. So, I made lists, I crossed off, I substituted, I added, I eliminated, and at the end had a meager few places to order from.
So, the stack just sat and percolated and I stewed, I would walk by, but I would not open even the top catalogue, the list was made and that was that. I kept busy with my planting charts and plans for which seeds would go in the ground in which place.
Then March hit and with it a snow storm to stop all thoughts of spring, couldn’t go outside, couldn’t even get outside, it snowed for 14 straight days, 7 feet on the ground, then the snow stopped, it started to warm up and the 7 foot that was on the roof fell right in front of the front door – I was stranded, totally stranded until someone could come and dig me out!!!
I paced, I fiddled with everything, I cleaned house, and on day 3 I sat down beside the stack of catalogues and started to go thru them, I was going to throw out what I wasn’t going to order from.
Then like a bolt, cabin fever hit me, and if you have never suffered from this, it isn’t a pretty sight, I started tearing thru the catalogues, making new lists, adding up orders, writing checks, getting them ready to mail. I started a new garden chart, I incorporated all the new wonderful plants that I would have if summer ever came.
Day 4, the scoopers came and dug me out and I raced to the mailbox with my hands full of seed orders.
And, peace once again reigned in my world, the seeds were ordered and I would have a new bigger, better, more fun garden the coming summer than ever before!

The Awesome Auger

2010-04-20T10:59:00.001-05:00

When you live in the land of hard clay and solid rock you are instantly drawn to things that dig holes more easily. My collection includes a rock splitter, a pole driver, a sharp shooter, a mallet and chisel and a very high pressure nozzle for hydra blasting. So, when I saw this wonder tool on TV called the Awesome Auger I was enthralled. Not only did I buy myself one- I bought both of my girls one. It turned out to be almost as advertised. With that thing attached to a drill and a hundred feet of heavy duty extension cord I could dig some holes!
In the spring we visited our daughter Lee . I was excited to present her with her new toy. She looked at the weird contraption in my hands with squinty eyes and a cocked head. Without much enthusiasm she said ,“Interesting”. That’s code for yucky. There was definitely a chill in the air. Even the steel of the auger felt colder in my hands.
However, the next morning found me and “Augie” happily digging holes for the seedlings lee and I were planting. Lee was planting and patting the dirt snug. When we got to the last few holes Lee said “Let me try that”. Yea! She was warming up. All went well and on the last hole Lee released the trigger and let go of the drill.
But the drill didn’t stop! Suddenly the auger was bouncing across the ground like a manic mambo dancer; I’d swear it was chasing Lee.
“What the ………….” I stood frozen for a few stunned seconds. Then I thought, as comical as this looks, there is real danger here. Just as it was catching her, I ran to the cord and jerked the plug out then skidded to a stop beside Lee who was sitting on the ground. She was rubbing a badly bruised leg with a nasty abrasion and glaring murderously at the Auger.
Of all things…This is a girl who is proficient with a chain saw, skill saw and heavy equipment much bigger than she is . And with never so much as a ding.
That afternoon at our daily family council (happy hour) Lee’s husband, Bo, proclaimed the auger;
Unwelcome in polite society,
Banished to the mountains forever
And
Put under lock and key until transport could be arranged.
I repressed the urge to declare the whole thing the drill’s fault. Some things are better left unsaid.
And given the bad juju between Lee and the auger I really couldn’t say that with certainty.
Could I?

THE SEED CATALOGUES

2010-04-01T10:10:00.002-05:00

I AM SO PROUD

2010-03-19T11:09:00.003-05:00

I am the first one in my family to go to gardening school!
Pooh on all their BSs, MSs and PHDs, I am now a
Master Gardener in training.
Yesterday was my third lesson. Already the mysteries are beginning to reveal themselves. Who knew that soil (you can’t say dirt) needs to be 25% air, 25% water and 50%other stuff. Needless to say that it’s hard to figure out how I will get to that from the hard clay and rock that is my mountain home. But now that the secrets of the universe are within my grasp I have faith.
I must say that everything is a bit more complicated than I thought. It’s a miracle that anything I did before brought forth so much. Just think of what will happen now. I started out taking copious notes but it occurred to me that everything is probably in the book issued us. The history of the world could be in there it’s about 6 inches thick. My time is better spent listening to the stream of experts that come to talk to us.
Being a noticer, there are many things I have noticed about this group. The first thing was that nobody in the group is excessively fluffy. In fact, I may be the fluffiest person there. I’m working on that. The second is that while they all take the course seriously, no one seems to take themselves too seriously. I like that. The third is that it’s not clubby, I like that. We are there for a purpose. And I’m learning so much! I like that!!!
One of the things I have long thought was verified by our speaker yesterday. The plant can’t distinguish between nutrients provided organically or chemically. Nitrogen is nitrogen is nitrogen. So spending outrageous amounts of money on the idea that everything must be organic is a choice, not a law, even for good gardeners.
I will give you some trivia every week from the course.
Did you know that a tomato is a berry? Did you know that an Irish potato is a stem? Did you know that all tree nuts are fruits?
That’s all the news for now. See you next week.

BIRDS

2010-03-07T16:16:00.001-06:00

I love birds and my neighbor loves squirrels – can you see the collision coming?

She proudly told me last winter that she had “raised” an entire litter of squirrels in her yard. I took a deep breath and responded in my nicest tone – OH.

I feed the birds, more regularly than I feel the humans that live here, and nearly as often as I feed my beloved dog. I buy special feed for the birds, I know what food each kind likes to eat and I furnish it. I cut oranges and put grape jelly for the orioles in their feeder. I have the thistle feeder, the sunflower seed feeder, and the mixed seed feeder. My neighbors are no longer shocked to see me in my jammies filling a bird feeder.

This year I have one less feeder as the squirrels ate the bottom wire mesh out of a feeder my step-mother gave to me. Now all my feeders are squirrel-proof, a complicated system of heavy wire cage around the feeder which only birds can get thru, baffles, greased hangers, I have it all. And no one has told the squirrels that they cannot get into these feeders so they try several times each day.

This summer I had a new bird, a hawk. I don’t know what hawks eat, and I don’t feed him, but I think he eats small rodents and he spends a lot of his time perched on a post in my backyard. I do not discourage him, I look at him as a second line of defense against the fat little squirrels, even my most imperial tone doesn’t discourage them more than a few seconds.

My dog will not chase squirrels as she has figured out after several attempts that she cannot climb trees, so why put forth the effort. The odds there are too uneven.

This winter, as the trees all lost their leaves, I can look out my window and see dozens of bird nests in the branches. I think I have identified the hawk nest, it is the largest of all the nests and in the maple tree in my front yard.

So, I watch my hawk (I have taken possession of him as much as anyone can a hawk), I feed the birds, I chase the squirrels, who aren’t one bit afraid of me and will run up a tree and cuss down at me, and I know I must truly blessed to have such a circus going on in my backyard.

My own little garden greenhouse

2010-02-23T15:08:00.003-06:00

I am trying something new this year. Lee bought me a contraption that looks like a giant garment bag with 4 shelves. The shelves will hold 3 trays each of starter pots. The whole thing is covered with a clear plastic cover. It has a door with zippers on each side which gives you wonderful access. I have never had any luck with tiny seeds, this year I am determined. Did you know that the wave petunias are around $3.00 a package of seed? That they take 90 days to bloom? Which is why I planted them the 1st of February. Each seed is coated with something. I use my buddy's toilet paper roll method for the dirt but I only filled the roll 2/3 up with potting soil, the last 1/3 I used a very light sprouting mix. My thinking is that the light sprouting soil won't support the root growth needed. I watered everything well with a turkey baster put the trays in there , put a heating pad in a plastic bag set on medium on the bottom shelf and zipped it up. Most of them sprouted!! Yea!! I have gotten this far many times, Some thing happens between here and the second leaves. I am hoping that this closed, moist enviroment will make the difference. I haven't had to water them in a whole week. Everyday or so I spray a little fine mist into each shelf area. What do I do next? I could use some garden tips for fine seeds.

Pavlov Had Nothing on My Mother

2010-02-16T13:13:00.001-06:00

Many of us remember that Pavlov was a scientist that always fed these dogs to the sound of a buzzer. Over time the sound caused the same response in the animals as the smell or sight of food.

Extreme salivation

I think it’s called conditioning.

My premise is that many parents, worldwide, unwittingly use this as a training method for their children. The most heinous use of this conditioning is in potty training. Mothers, turning on the water in the wash basin to encourage their tots to make the same sound in the potty.

Future gardeners beware.

Now, I never asked my Mother and she never said but I have empirical proof that this diabolical method was used on me. As a young person you don’t even realize this has happened. As you reach your senior years the conditioning reasserts itself with a vengeance.

An avid gardener, I love to be outside. The day slips away before you know it. At some point during the day you begin to realize that you have to go.

“In a minute,” you tell yourself. You are vaguely aware that this happens several times. You’re busy and you keep putting it off, not wanting to spend a second of this beautiful day inside.

Finally it’s almost time to start dinner. Just one more quick thing!

And you turn on the hose!

Thanks, Mom

A Prairie Dog's Rebuttal

2010-02-07T13:06:00.001-06:00

In a previous blog my blog-buddy described prairie dogs as “just big, mean, and ugly brown”. I read that blog and I was so shocked I couldn’t believe that AP hadn’t had her eyes checked in the last few years and had lost her mind when it came to describing things!

I thought of the huge village of prairie dogs that live close to Lowe’s and beside the hospital. I love the prairie dogs, love, love, love them. They are a pretty brown and so fat that when they run it’s more like a ball of fur rolling along. They have shiny hair, the cutest little button brown eyes, and need braces on their teeth so badly that they look like they are smiling all the time.
When Petco was built they had to move their entire village further to the west, and managed to do it before any of the heavy construction started. They live on 17th Street and the intersection of highway 61, and they are pretty street-smart little animals - it is rare to see one squashed on the road.

Every trip to Lowe’s requires a detour to the back of the lot where I can sit in the car and talk to them. They seem to like to visit, they stand up by their tunnel and chatter right back to me – we smile at each other, something people don’t do too much these days.

They must build the most inventive tunnels, some end right at the curb of 17th street, and they will stand there and watch the cars go by, and yes, I always slow down, roll down the window and say “hi little guys”.

Now, here is the point that AP and I would merge on thoughts, while I love watching them play and run around and I like their village of tunnels, I do not want one for a pet and I absolutely do not want one (or a colony) in my yard. I can understand why farmers and ranchers don’t want them in the pasture, but no one is ever going to farm or ranch behind Lowe’s, so it’s a good home for them.

And the moral of this blog must be –

Beauty is in the Eyes of the Beholder! (And I am a prairie dog beholder!!)

Now I'm Getting Excited!!!

2010-01-30T17:38:00.001-06:00

I know, I know. It’s only almost February. But that’s gobs closer to March and that’s almost SPRING!

Dee (my precious daughter-in-law) and I were talking a couple of days ago, about the garden of course. That girl is a genius. She is the real deal. They have just moved into what they hope will be their forever home on five acres. Already she and J. have put together (2)-4x4x4x4 compost bins made out of pallets and are happily going about getting them started. In the high country we call this bear bait, but most places it will work.

Now this is the genius part, they left the space of one pallet between the compost bins and will eventually have many more in a row against the fence line, all with one pallet space between them. All of these empty spaces are meant to be little green houses, using the heat that the compost bins generate naturally to protect the tender plants. All you need is clear plastic on two sides and the top, thousands of toilet paper rolls filled with potting soil, seeds and water and your garden is weeks ahead of schedule. I’m thinking that they might be to some extent, self watering.

You just roll up the plastic on warm days and keep them covered other times. Dee, being the genius she is, figured out that the soil would be too nitrogen hot in those spaces for seed to flourish in the ground thus the rolls(check a previous post about this great idea).

They could be rubber banded together for easier care and set into egg carton trays for watering. Like all the corn could be together.
Are you getting the idea that on the whole this is as close to free as you get in this life?!
The idea has endless possibilities. One of the best is -where do you put your deck and patio plants when winter come?

The play “The Little shop of horrors” comes to mind.

“You gotta Feed Me!”

You could actually walk around the house without fear of disappearing into the rain forest never to be seen again.

Bravo Dee!!

The Gardening Plaque

2010-01-24T15:11:00.002-06:00

I received a handmade plaque several years ago which hangs above my desk; the bottom is a flurry of flowers and coming up each side is a sunflower standing proud all made of felt and embroidery. The plaque has the embroidered words “Tickle it with a hoe and it will laugh into a garden”.

I look at this plaque at least once a day and probably have done so since the day I received it; I’m still trying to figure out just what it means.

If you hoe something, don’t you cut it off, dig it up, do away with it? Or, when we hoe does it just pop up at another spot in the middle of the garden?

Does it mean we need to hoe to have a garden that laughs – a lot of gardens have made me laugh, the ones with 25 of that person’s favorite concrete ornaments, or the ones that obviously were planned by someone with an abstract vision – were they all hoed?

And, why was I the recipient of this gift – I hate to hoe and to be very honest I am a weed puller – I love to pull weeds, I love how the garden looks after I have pulled the weeds, I like the order of things when they are cared for. Was my friend telling me I needed to hoe and get finished quicker, or that they didn’t think I was a good weed puller, or was the gift because I love to garden, it mentioned garden, so I must love it.

And, do I love it? Yes, I do, I admire the felt flowers, the embroidery, the tea-stained linen it was made on, and even if I do not understand the verse I have certainly spent more time pondering it than most things!

And, so grows our gardens, sometimes funny, sometimes a mystery to be solved, a puzzle with one piece missing, sometimes neat and orderly and a week later a riot of blooms that make us wonder what the original plan was.

So, I leave you with these words, “Tickle it with a hoe and it will laugh into a garden”.

WIN - WIN

2010-01-16T15:46:00.002-06:00

This time of year I always find myself a little discombobulated. There are many things I need to do but nothing I really want to do. I always try to get the “need to do things” out of the way so I can enjoy doing the “want to do things.”

It’s too bleeping cold to even go outside, it’s too early for planting seedlings inside and the garden catalogs haven’t even come yet. Not much incentive to get to the “Need to do things.”

But….just when life is at its most boring something hilarious happens.

We braved this unbelievable cold yesterday when cabin fever drove us out to go anywhere, anywhere at all, just to get out. Our Puppies are having a bit of stiffness due to age and this frigid weather, so we went to the only pet store in our small town “Paws and Claws” for some chondroitin. They have very little in this shop so I was surprised to see a cage with a live animal in it up front. As I got closer I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Is this what I think it is?” I asked the teen age clerk. “It’s a Prairie Dog” she said brightly.

“NO KIDDEN! How much do you want for him?” This one isn’t for sale, but when we get them in the spring they will be between $300 and $400.”

“NO Waaay!”

Think about it! These things are big, mean and just an ugly brown. They spend most of their time in huge holes that wreck golf courses and they have no personality whatever.

Now compare that to cute little creatures that are a beautiful tan with white stripes. Playful and chatty in nature. If you would pay that for a Prairie Dog, what would you pay for one of these precious little fellows?

Think of it as a beneficent relocation. They are out of my rock garden, have good families and I am a gazillionaire.

Sounds like a “WIN - WIN to me.
Put out the word!
CHIPMUNKS FOR SALE

WINTER GARDENING

2010-01-09T16:59:00.003-06:00

You know, it doesn’t matter where you live – well, I guess if you lived on a tropical garden it might matter – gardening in the winter either is non-existent or non-fun. But there are many things that you can do in the heights of the gardening season that will make your winter gardening more fun, more colorful, and grab compliments from all those neighbors who will be so envious of your creativity!!

After the vegetable garden was in last spring – see previous blogs – and with a little energy left, I decided I wanted to reduce the grass in the back yard by half. We have an electric mower, and while it made a huge difference in my mowing – I could never get the gas one started, and I didn’t want to deal with a cord, so I just didn’t do it – just grass, a plain, green, flat yard of grass was pretty boring to look at. So, did I start with a plan – now you know that would not be the Queenly way to garden, so of course I had no plan – but –

The Maiden Grass over behind the garage was huge, I couldn’t see around it, I couldn’t see over it, and it was clogging up my view of what the neighbors were doing, sooooo I divided half of it into 6 clumps and took them to the other side of the yard, tilled about 4 feet out from the fence over there and plunked them in the ground in a wave-ish pattern. That neighbor is boring and nothing to watch anyway, so it also blocked a little of the view.

Next step, I went to visit my sister, and with spades and garden trugs, we went to the family cemetery plots all over the county and instead of digging up the peonies this year away from the stones and tossing them, we put them in the trugs (and only for a few minutes did I feel like a grave robber) and back home they came with me. I put those in between the clumps of grass.

Back to my sisters for boxes of lilac starts - she already had the dug where they were invading her yard, and fit perfecting in the space I didn't know what to do with in the front yard.

My sister-in-law had Bachelor’s Buttons taking over her beds in Vail. One summer visit and a week later I had dug up 4 boxes of the Bachelor’s Buttons and brought them home with me and yes, they too went along the fence.

My nephew had dug all the Iris in his yard and given it to his mother. She had other plans for the area where it was, so another trip to her house and I came home with three banana boxes of Iris – against the house on the other side of the gate. I actually thought planting all those might be the death of me. I have no idea what color any of them will be, so am waiting for my surprise this coming summer and hoping that they aren’t all the same color.

Wish I had more relatives that wanted to get rid of plants, I could about finish my yard, but have ran out of family resources for the time being.

I tilled in around the back side of the yard two rows wide, and have hopes for a wave of Hibiscus there this Spring.

As I look out the patio doors and squint hard I can see a row of burning bushes along the back fence – this will require another big-time massacre of the yew that is growing there, but I cut it down from 15’ to 5’ last winter, so I think I can manage to finish it this winter. I also see a dogwood and a smoke tree in my plans; I just need to squint hard enough to see where they might go.

If you have snow on the ground, put on your boots, button up your coat and tromp around in the yard, I can guarantee you; more ideas will pop into your head than you will have energy to do when the weather improves. Get a garden hose, and don’t hook it up, just take it to that problem spot in your yard and give it a toss, now does that look like an outline for a flowerbed or what!!!

And, when you are tired and it’s time to come in and get toasty, there are always piles of seed catalogs to go thru for next summer!

Creation

2010-01-02T11:19:00.004-06:00

One of the most incredible gifts DP ever gave me was this amazing blender. It is a sight to behold, white base with a frosted glass, tulip shaped globe with flowers etched in the glass. It has a place of honor on our counter and is admired by all. However, DP has this strange thing , he thinks that these kind of things (toasters, microwaves, blenders)should be used only for what the manufacturer intended, like food and Drinks. In my mind this is a very narrow and confining view of the world (and appliances).I tell you all this to set the stage for the important part this blender played in my rock garden.

All of you who have tried gardening on a steep hillside know that the most important thing is to keep water in your planted pockets long enough to soak the soil before it gravitates downhill. Dry rock stacking is just never going to be tight enough. Then I happened on this Wonderful book. The concept was a sea change in my gardening life. There was a formula. With this formula and variations of it I could make rocks and boxes and pockets. I had the power of the universe!!

The formula was very simple:
1part cement
1 part peat moss
1 part pearlite
And enough water to make gooey

All of this is cheap and readily available at your local hardware store…..except pearlite. All that money for that piddly little bag. It would cost a fortune to do what I wanted. Disappointment and frustration settled over me like a blanket. (Which is my best thinking mode.) I wandered the house and garden for days inconsolable.

While passing thru the garage one day I spied the (4)5ft tall bags of Styrofoam peanuts Lea had ordered. I usually averted my eyes because they made me think of the worms but today something clicked in my brain. What was pearlite but itsy little pieces of Styrofoam. I grabbed a bag and hauled it up the stairs.

My first thought was to put a handful of peanuts in a bag and beat them with a knife handle to make them itsy. This unfortunately seemed to ionize them and they floated out of the bag. There would be a capture problem here. Water was needed to stabilize the process.

My next thought was to pour them in a bath tub, fill it with water and go at them with a meat pounder. That thought was discarded before DP got wind of it and made a fuss.

Later rounding the corner into the kitchen, there it sat in a beam of inspirational light,

The Blender!

Surreptitiously, while DP was in the shower, I experimented and found the perfect mix. Two handfuls of loosely packed peanuts covered with water and the frappe setting. Pour the water off in a colander and WALLA!!!!

Pearlite.

Tomorrow was DP’s golf day so I would have a glorious uninterrupted afternoon. As soon as the car was out of sight I was at it. Happily blending and tossing the result in a giant metal bowl. The wind kicked up a little so the garden looked like one of those snow globes with one pudgy elf and a polka dot cat and dog. I was blissful.

The project was not long underway when, there coming back up the drive, was our Car! In a panic I threw the leaf basket over the blender. DP quickly took in the scene, smiled and drawled, “What ya doin?”

I smiled broadly and said, “Nuttthhhinn……..”

His face said “Do I want to pursue this?”

My eyes said “You do not want to know.”

Don’t try this kind of silent communication at home. It takes years of practice to be effective.

With a nod and a grin he jogged up the steps and across to the door, as it was closing he stuck his head round and said, “Don’t forget to unplug the leaf basket.”

I Love This Man!!!

TOILET TISSUE AND YOUR GARDEN

2009-12-27T17:24:00.002-06:00

I love my garden and I guess I love toilet tissue at any rate the thought of not having it is most unpleasant.

And, each Spring I am amazed at how much toilet tissue goes thru our home – I always think it’s because of company. By now you are wondering if I count tissue rolls in my spare time, right?
No, I am not that daffy yet, but I save each and every empty roll from tissue and from paper towels, they go into the garage in plastic sacks along with empty egg carton bottoms. And, no, I haven’t developed a hoarder mentality either!

I love seeds, garden seeds, flower seeds, just any kind of seed. Looking at seed catalogues in the winter and ordering seeds in the Spring is second only to receiving the seeds in the mail, buying them at the nursery, and finding the packets I saved from the last year.

Now comes the fun part – I open all my seeds and dump each packet into a bowl with the packet laid at the top so I can remember what is what. I go to the garage and get all my sacks of empty rolls and egg cartons. I go to the front closet and the huge rubber tray we have for drippy shoes in the winter comes out and into the area with the rolls. I go to the nursery and get the best potting soil I can find. By this time things around our home have gotten real quiet and the other half of my team is giving me “The Look”.

With everything accumulated, I cut the rolls in half and line them up in the tray with the egg cartons at one end, then I fill everything with potting soil, get my little seeds and carefully put one in each roll, adding a little potting soil on top. I fill each egg slot in the cartons with soil and flower seeds go in there. Each group is carefully marked with the packet the seeds came in.
I very slowly drip water into each roll and into the egg cartons and sit the tray over a floor heating vent. Within 2 weeks all my little seeds are sprouts which I carefully tend until it’s time to put them into the garden. You can either rip the roll and carton parts away, or plant them, as they are paper and will compost while your plants grow.

This is the point where my neighbor will peek over the fence and pretend like he is not watching, I always want to jump up and yell “GOTCHA”.

Not a dime spent on little potting cups, and all those plastic bags are now empty and ready for next year!

A Puzzlement

2009-12-19T13:25:00.002-06:00

Every year by the time Fall rolls around at my mountain home I am flat worn out. Not by the exertion of the garden, which I love, but by trying to keep the critters from eating all my efforts.

Perennial has a totally different meaning here. Here it means alive until eaten. It isn’t like we have a few hungry pests-we have hoards in strange varieties. At 9000 feet, animals that wouldn’t distain to eat a petunia at sea level make it a quick meal .This year I watched an elk cow eat a whole big bush in 20 minutes. Years of useless hollering and missed rocks rendering her impervious to my presence.

DP keeps a pellet gun by the door. It is the muffled yell and moan that bring him eagerly into the fray. Never would I actually say “DP get the gun!” The holes in the porch ceiling testify to the danger in that.

I have just been pondering for a long time now about why you can’t engineer flowers and shrubs to taste bad. I know what you’re thinking. Plant marigolds, nasturtiums and daffodils. I do!! That’s my point! If Nature made them taste bad to critters, I do believe that she wouldn’t mind a little help with some varieties that are pink and purple and white, etc.

Now all you organic guys don’t get your pants in a knot.

I’m just saying……….!

If you can make sweet corn, which is like heaven compared to field corn, why can’t you help flowers and shrubs out a little.

Organic Control of Garden Insects

2009-12-13T12:26:00.005-06:00

Now I want to make this clear to you from the start, I am a Kansas girl, I was born a Kansas girl, will die a Kansas girl, and it won’t matter where I am relocated I will always remain a Kansas girl, yes, I have the ruby red slippers to prove it too!

I am not afraid of snakes, I am not afraid of bugs, rabbits, or other wildlife that may venture then the yard. I can remember as a child watching ants for hours, and putting little grains of sugar on the sidewalk to see them carry it off to their home (now you can tell my attention is easily captured, and I was an easy child to entertain).

The one thing that I am afraid of, I detest, and I have a full-blown hissy fit every time I see one is a Squash Bug! I hate em, hate em, absolutely without a doubt completely hate em. They appear overnight at the base of a squash plant, they bore into the stems, they suck all the life out of the plant, within days you have a limp pitiful plant where once little zucchini were growing.

I love organic gardening, one of my high school classmates brought me a pickup load of horse manure one time and it was the best gift I got all summer long. If there is a natural way to amend soil, fertilize, or take care of garden problems, I am all for trying it.

So, the first time I encountered squash bugs I started my research and there it was the golden words of how to get rid of them. You pick them off the plants, put them in a blender, add enough water to make a thin liquid, then spray it on the plants. The squash bugs pack up and leave, never to be seen again.

With the enthusiasm that only a novice could have, I picked bugs, picked bugs, and picked bugs. Brought the blender outside, put the bugs in, a little water and pushed the button ~ not enough water, off with the lid and more water, pushed the button ~ still not enough water. Off with the lid and put a lot more water in, pushed the button and ~~~

For crying out loud, I had forgot to put the lid back on, up came water like a fountain with pieces of mushed up squash bugs all over me, in my hair, on my face, all over my clothes!

I was running around like a demon-possessed being, into the house, into the shower, and after using all the hot water, I felt a little bit better, but I swear I could still smell the squash bugs.

Back outside, there sat the cursed blender with the residue of my arch-enemies The Mushed Squash Bugs in the bottom. I did the only thing a reasonable person driven to the point of insanity would do – into the trash went the blender, and into the car I went and down to the nursery.

Now I can’t just ask a question there, I had to go into the whole story and they are good at my nursery, very, very good, no one broke out laughing, but I could see their shoulders shaking when they thought I wasn’t looking. I think the fire in my eye would have kept anyone from laughing out loud at that point.

I found there are very few products on the market, organic or otherwise that will rid your garden of Squash Bugs, but a few non-organic applied to the base of the squash plant when it first comes up helps to deter the bugs from infesting.

To this day I can claim to be only a part-organic gardener, and the part that isn’t is the squash plants – and I really hate squash bugs to the bone to this day! And, every once in a while when I go to the nursery someone is brave enough to ask if I have squash bugs this year!

Worms, Worms, Worms, Worms

2009-12-06T11:04:00.003-06:00

When our home in the mountains was built, an incredible unintended bonus was a huge unfinished cavern under the front wing of the house. It measures about 100 feet by 25 feet, for years it has been used to store junk. But we know that this is not its intended purpose-we just don’t know what. For years my Daughter, Lee and my Daughter-in-law, Dee (my partners-in-crime) and I have , at times, sat in a row facing it. Cocking our heads this way and then that, like Forrest Gump and the little Gumps. Hoping that at some angle it would provide inspiration for its intended use, to no avail.

Then came the Martha Stewart show on “Worm Composting”. Within the hour both the girls had called! This was it! The finely oiled machine kicked in. We were all doing computations on how many flats would fit and where we could scrounge the materials for the walk ways. Lee went on line and found the Styrofoam peanuts for the bottom of the flats and Dee called the dump to see if any contractors had dumped wood out there lately. We were rolling!

And then……

This is a phenomenon not usually seen in these parts, but I can say from distant memory, that when both of DP”s size 13 feet come down on the other side of an issue it gets your attention. The Girls, sufficiently removed by many miles from ground zero, felt the shock waves. “No, but Hell no!” was all he could manage. When he calmed down sufficiently to talk, he reasonably said, “Why don’t you start small and get a feel of it.”

That made sense to all of us. We ordered one batch of “Red Wigglers”, bought one plastic tub and started saving newspaper.

We were ready!............- for almost anything but pissed off, temperamental, picky eating worms. You can’t buy an inbred dog that is more trouble. Not to say I didn’t get the hang of it.

But PULEASEEEE.

It was the day that they were unusually ticked about something and had crawled all over the sides and top of the tub that was my Waterloo. In my mind I saw them all over the floor, sides and top of the cavern, coming up thru the vents into the living room. Just the sight of the big bags of peanuts Lee had sent brought on anxiety attacks.

Bonsai Gardening, or Not!!

2009-11-29T16:55:00.003-06:00

Since our blog is about the adventures and misadventures of gardening outside the box, I thought I might share one of my fascinations (and honey there are a lot of them) with you.

This will be about gardening within a box, actually in a tray - did you know Bonsai is actually 2 words – Bon means tray and Sai means planting or growing.

I have just loved little colorful things, like an old mynah bird, since I was just a little pear ~ if it was little, shiny, or colorful, I had to have it, try it, or collect it, and nothing fits this bill quite like these precious little plants and trees!

It doesn’t matter where you live, everyone can have a bonsai tree and if you spend your year in different locations, they can relocate too – I suggest buying another makeup case just for this purpose!

Learning all you can about bonsai before you make your first purchase will save you time, dollars, and heartbreak – I remember my first was a Christmas gift from our son who said “They said you can leave it outside all winter, just water it”. I did and while it was evergreen it got browner and browner until come spring, all I had left was a pot of crispies ~ that was the “bon” and flakes, no sai.

You need a pot, and a tray, there are millions on the market, so get one that you love; then you need to decide on a starter plant or tree, or start one yourself from seeds.

If you are as impatient as I am a plant or tree is definitely the way to go, while I plan to live to be at least 100, I don’t want to spend all those years waiting for a tree to grow from a seed, I want WOW and I want it NOW!

A great starter tree is the Japanese Red Maple; I love this because the tree’s leaves change to bright red or orange in the spring and fall and a deeper red in the summer.

This tree works so well for an upright bonsai and you can train it so the little leaves are one-inch long or less. The trunk and tiny limbs can be green or red.

You will need tools and instructions on how to care for your particular choice. And from your care will come a lifetime of enjoyment watching your little creation evolve!

The Debacle of the Electric Fence

2009-11-22T12:18:00.004-06:00

In our high mountain valley there lives the rarest of all creatures, a really good and reliable handyman.

The love of my life, my husband D.P., has many talents- handy he isn’t. Thus Mr. Keller has ever and will forever more help us keep our home together. In a sincere effort to be handier like Mr. Keller, D.P. has invested in stacks of “How to books”. We have books on building, painting, patios, etc. But his favorite book of all time is Plumbing. It is a measure of what he has learned that when he got a book on wiring the last of the kids moved out. I mean it’s one thing to have no water.

You may wonder how this relates to gardening, that’s where the electric fence and Mr. Keller come in.

In an effort to save my gardens (or Deer Buffet as our older Son calls them) from critters I divined that I needed an electric fence.

So from a ranch supply place ,I ordered a reel of yellow tapey wire stuff and a box to hook it up to. I read the directions and proceeded to string it up and plug it in. All set! Right? But how do you know it’s working? I’m not touching that thing. That’s way below my Queenly pay grade. Kids are all gone-remember the wiring.

Now I’m not one to lightly contradict the goddess of queenliness “The Sweet Potato Queen”. But I know what I know. Hours of begging and even the “Promise” could not entice D.P. to “touch that thang”. Guaranteed to work my eye.

Enter stately Mr. Keller who can make anything work. After surveying the crime scene, all that yellow tapey stuff, he gingerly walked over to the fence and gently laid one finger on it.

Yeowwww! His white hair flew up and he did a half hop.

My teeth were clenched and my eyes squinted in a look of horrified concern. This was the only way I could stifle my laughter.

We continued down the fortification until we reached a place where I had flubbed up. In showing me how to fix it, it got him again! He pretended it didn’t and I pretended not to see. My shoulders only shook a little bit.

When we reached the corner where the fence started up the hill ,he bent over and pointed to a better angel it could take. In absolute horror-in slow motion, I watched him back in to the monster. In my head I was screaming “nooooooooo!” but no sound escaped my lips. This time we had full butt contact and it was a 2 hop jolt with arm flailing. I was undone, bent double howling with laughter, tears streaming down my cheeks. All poor Mr. Keller could manage was a pale, slightly sheepish grin.

I swear that I am not normally the kind of person who takes glee in others misfortune. I can’t tell you why this was so funny. I only know that even now whenever I notice the reel of yellow tapey wire stuff in the garden shed my shoulders shake.To my knowledge Mr. Keller was the only critter ever shocked by that fence. The moral of this story is that there are better ways to deal with critters in your garden.

I also know where you can buy some slightly used yellow tapey wire stuff and the box to hook it up to.

Real cheap

WELCOME!!!

2009-11-17T11:32:00.000-06:00

Welcome Zimbabwe! Talk to us often. We love hearing from you.

If It Hops, and It's Ears Flop - It's Public Enemy # 1

2009-11-14T18:18:00.003-06:00

After spending most of the winter going thru seed catalogs, finding just the right seed for each vegetable for my garden plot, it was time to order. By the time the order arrived, Spring was just peeking around the corner. All those wonderful seeds, I lined up the packets in what order I wanted to plant. I ordered garden stakes so I could tell just what seed was where, I lived gardening, I dreamed gardening, and as soon as possible, there I was, twine on the ground, stakes in one hand and my wonderful packets in the other.

The rows where marked, the stakes on each end, the twine in between, the furrows made, and the seeds sprinkled and covered. The wait began –

And, just as nature intended, the seeds germinated and tiny little plants started to pop up. Here came the lettuce, the spinach, the radishes and onions, and finally the green beans. I was so proud of my garden, taking pictures to send all my friends of the baby plants.

Then one morning, as I strolled to see and measure the overnight growth, I stopped dead in my tracks, my jaw dropped and tightened, my eyes squinted, my backbone became stiff as a board – what had happened to my garden!!! I no longer had green beans, I had an entire 2 rows of little stems with no leaves, no tops, just little sticks – the rabbits had found the garden and devoured all of the green beans.

I sent a queenly plea to all my fellow gardeners – what to do and how to do it ~

De-fence was the solution, spray it around the perimeter of the yard and the rabbits will not cross it – two cans later, the task was accomplished. Three days later the sticks were growing leaves again and all was well in my garden kingdom.

Day 4, I walked to the garden, the beans were sticks again and a rabbit was happily hopping thru the fence between me and my neighbors. The De-fence had failed. Out went the plea again – what to do?

In poured the suggestions, each of one was tried in this order: talcum powder (they ate the lettuce), human hair (they ate the spinach), dog hair (they started to nibble on the okra), hot pepper flakes – the rabbits enjoyed salsa. My neighbor went to the nursery and came home with Hot Wax Pepper in a spray. She had replanted her beans and they were up just one leaf – she sprayed and sprayed, and the next morning – sticks, not a leaf in sight. Then someone suggested dusty miller – so off to the nursery I went, bought the last 4 in town, they were leggy and they were wilty, but they were dusty miller, so I hopefully planted them and watered them like they were gold.

Lo and behold, either the rabbits found better food to eat, or my plants got too big to be tender, or the dusty miller worked the trick, but they quit eating the okra, which other than tomatoes and peppers was all that was left. They still came into the yard, hopping around looking for something tasty, but I thought I was finished with the worst of them.

Then, just before the first frost, I was looking at the baby clematis my sister had planted for me in the spring and it was gone, just gone, chomped off at the top of the cup I had around it.

After a few choice words and more research I am back at the point to last spring – hopeful, wondering what I can do to keep the little hoppers away from my garden, and ready to invest in chicken wire or hardware cloth to surround the garden, the new plants, the yard, and maybe even the neighborhood! Anyone with any suggestions, please post on this blog – they will all be taken to heart!

It is so undignified to see a Queen chasing rabbits out of the yard in her jammies!!!

Does A Bear ..........................?

2009-11-08T14:47:00.001-06:00

I must preface this story by relating another one to you - One morning I called this Queen's home. Her husband answered and I asked for her. In his most formal tone he told me she was unavailable. I said "Well, what is she doing?" He started laughing and said "She is out in the yard, she has climbed a tree to look for a mother bear". The fun just never ends!!!

In our part of the country when you have just related the most bizarre tale, purported to be true, the almost immediate and universal response will be a cocked head and the word “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww?” At which point the purportee will, with the most solemn of faces say, “Does a bear s……….. in the woods?” There is no more solemn oath in these parts. And I for one know this to be true in a big way.

This time of year, late fall, all the critter’s memory of a hungry winter begins to kick in and they go on an eating rampage. We usually have a couple of grumpy ole bears up here who are still kind of picky, sniff the meager outside offerings and go away. This year we had the cutest yearling. He was an almost round ball of fur, about 100 pounds. He hung around for a couple of hours, smelling the bacon and eggs we just finished and peeking in the side lights on the door trying to find a way in to that smell. He finally gave up on that and sat down on the front porch to ponder “What’s next?”

Suddenly, he ran off with his tail up! I gingerly stepped outside to survey any damage. All over the bottom step was a residue of white powder. “What in the world?” Then I saw the bag, a brand new bag of Epson salt ready to be mixed for one last feeding for my beds. It was empty.

Don’t ever ask me if a bear s……..s in the woods.

Starting a Vegetable Garden

2009-10-31T16:27:00.003-05:00

After many years of living in the mountains, my husband and I moved back to the place of our birth and the home of our hearts – The Great State of Kansas!! It was late summer when the move was completed and once everything was unpacked and put away; the next order of business was planning a garden – a real vegetable garden – which we had missed so much in the past several years.

So, I surveyed my little estate, picked the side of the yard where it was protected from the wind, but got a lot of sun and declared “This will be my garden!”

With the help of my husband and grandson and an entire winter of working (no, it doesn’t always snow every day and it isn’t always cold in Kansas in the winter) we dug out shrubs and found 18” of lava rock on the ground underneath – now I do not know who created lava rock, but there is absolutely no space in my vegetable garden for them. I started with the lofty goal of picking up 20 pieces per day in the most Queenly of manner. It soon became apparent that this method was netting me zero progress! So, we scooped, we put 3 trugs in the dumpster each week, we scooped some more, we took giant boxes full to my step-mother on the other end of the State, we scooped some more. We offered it to local landscapers who offered to trade what they wanted to get rid of to us for ours. We swore that it was giving birth to little pieces each night while we slept. One week I got carried away with what I put in the dumpster and was presented with a note the morning after pick-up that said “Too heavy to lift” and all my lava rock left in the dumpster. Seemed we would never get to the end, and since Spring was right around the corner by then, we borrowed my Godson’s pickup and after three trips to the landfill with the pickup loaded to the max, we were finished with the lava rock. The landfill is an experience no Queen should ever have and fuel for another story, but believe me it doesn’t take many minutes there before I was a real “Prickly Pear” and pretty well finished for the rest of that week – poor little muscles!

Next step – prepare the soil. Sounds easy, doesn’t it, well, let me tell you that is not for the weak at heart! You beg, borrow, rent, or buy a rototiller – and once the gas and oil are full, a mystery never totally solved by me, you start it and away you go – this is the most muscle-building experience known to woman-kind – unless you are training for Miss Universe – and this one doesn’t involve oiling your body, just the machine! There is a rope, there is a little rubber handle and there is a lot of yanking, many invoked blessings, and finally it sputters – this is when you are supposed to keep one hand on one part, another hand on another part adjusting it, and use your foot to hold the whole thing together until the adjustments are made and you are once again upright and composed.

After three trips over the designated area it was time to pick up the grass clumps and rake – carefully judging the weight of each clump to avoid the “Too heavy to lift” note, we filled in all the bare spots that we could find in the yard and tossed the rest in the dumpster, which by then was my most important garden tool. Of course before you can toss any into the dumpster, you must do the “shake, shake, shake” with it to remove any precious soil from the roots.

Time to amend the soil – a Queenly brew of peat moss, horse manure, compost, and staying as organic as possible, no chemicals on the garden. Again, the rototiller, if there is any doubt in your mind what part of your body is flabby, I recommend about three minutes behind a rototiller, anything that is not firmly affixed to bone will shake and rattle, and roll!! So, strolling behind it like a drunken sailor that job was finished.

Finally it was time to do the final raking and sit down with a long tall glass of tea and a stack of seed catalogs that would have killed me if it had fallen on me. What to plant and where to plant it, so many ideas and so little space and room – although I was reminded the space was 27 feet long and 20 feet wide – it seemed so huge when it was being prepared and so small when it came to the planning stage.

A Plant's Prayer

2009-10-26T15:27:00.005-05:00

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray my leaves the Deer don’t eat
And when in spring, shoots I make
I pray they get a tummy ache
The End

As much as we all love our gardens, it is time to put them to sleep. Sleepless gardens are a pitiful sight.

And besides we have other Queenly duties to perform now, what with the holidays and all.

These are the things we do to ensure they have sweet dreams and gain strength for the coming spring.

1. We wash everything down with: 1cup mouthwash, *1cup chewing tobacco juice, I cup dawn.

Put into a sprayer and work from top to bottom on all perennials. *We buy 1 pk. Of chewing tobacco in the spring, put it in a half gallon container and fill with water. It lasts all season and is a good alternative for organic bug control.

2. We spray with dormant oil and weather protection like “Wilt proof”. Again from top to bottom. Wilt proof is also good to protect your plants from sunburn in the heat of summer.

3. Final feeding for all our beds, bone meal and Epson salts, spread according to directions. Mulch well, we like shredded cedar bark for bug control.

Say “Nite, Nite! Sleep well, don’t let the bugs bite!

The Prickly Pear Queens Guide to Gardening

2009-10-15T20:17:00.002-05:00

Welcome to our new blog mostly about the adventures and misadventures of gardening outside the box. All of us self-proclaimed queens and domestic goddesses owe at least a debt of gratitude to the mother of all Queens, “The Sweet Potato Queen” who taught us how to have fun.

Now you may be asking yourself “Who in the world are the Prickly Pear Queens?” and “Why in the world would anyone want to be a Prickly Pear Queen?”

I am here to tell you that we are not Prickly Pear Queens because we are Prickly (most of the time unless unduly provoked - in which case a little sugar solves that problem) and we are certainly not pear-shaped (more like those little yellow tomatoes some of you grow that are just a little bigger on the bottom) but we are most definitely Queens and since we both have deeeeep roots to the Southwest and a love for all growing things – what an honor to be known as “The Prickly Pear Queens”.

We will be growing our court by adding new queens. We urge you to share with us your unique and creative adventures in gardening. So ….. if you wish to become a part of this august body, you might want to pick your favorite fruit or veggie to be Queen of now while the picking is good. You know something like “The Hot Tomato Queen”.

Each month we will hold a ceremony on-line and award a prize for the funniest adventure in gardening.

Not to say that this is not going to be a site that values serious gardening and gives (mostly) good advice and tips. Just not in a serious way. All of us know that for every hot, sweaty way to accomplish something in our garden there is a hilarious alternative.

As my wonderful ole Granny used to say, “There’s more than one way to skin a Chipmunk.”

(And since they are the sworn enemies of mountain gardeners, I’ve tried most of them.)

Now, let me show you what I mean about funny stories that contain useful information:

The Rock Garden

Half of my gardening life is spent at 9000 feet. Here the soil is 90% rock and the growing season is the blink of a gnat’s eye. Ten years ago I got my heart set on a rock garden on the hillside opposite our home. To say this is a work in progress is an understatement. It is now 50 feet long. That’s 5 feet a year. Do you know what it takes to dig a hole for a 5 gallon shrub in a hillside that’s 90% rock?

OH NO YOU DON’T!!

Like all gardeners, I can’t resist the end of the season sales. 75% off! My heart races – my mind goes numb. That is until I get the 14-5 gallon shrubs home. My numb mind comes back with a thud. It’s late October and I have about an hour and a half to plant them all before it freezes. So, armed with a rock breaker, a hammer, my husband’s new screwdriver set and a spade, I embark. Twenty minutes later I have a 6 oz. cup size hole. Three days and many “Son of ……..” later, the pieces of the screwdriver set are buried under a pile of rocks my husband will never notice ad I’m stumped and pissed. “Think you bit off more than you can chew?” from my husband was the last straw.

Then it came to me!! I ran to the garage and grabbed the high pressure nozzle and 50 foot of hose. Then, still dressed in my go to town clothes, I let it fly! Whoa Gussie, it was a sight. Red clay, mud, and rock of all sizes were flying everywhere. No telling how many chipmunks packed up and left for good that day.

I can say in retrospect, this is probably better done in a “Hazmat” suit with a visor. Never had so much fun gardening. 14 holes in six hours!! That’s a record in this part of the country. If you’re my kind of gardener you have a hundred of these stories.

. It grows in the desert regions of North America. The fruits are used for the juice and the pads are used as a vegetable.

OK, Enough of that.

And, I want to share the official Prickly Pear Cactus Jelly Recipe with you:

1 ½ cup Prickly Pear Juice
3 Tablespoons of lemon or lice juice
1 Package Powdered Pectin
3 ½ cups of Sugar

How to get that juice – first you pick a quart of the prickly pear fruit and that should make 2 ½ cups of juice. Which brings about another problem – How to pick the fruit. Use a pair of long-handled tongs, or a fork, or for the more brave at heart, you can try leather gloves.

Wash the fruit under running water, then use a brush to clean (any spines left on the fruit will soften during cooking and should come off after the fruit is strained (notice that word ”should”), if they don’t you will need to use your tongs or a fork to get them out.

Steam the fruit until it is tender and soft. Mash and strain it using a jelly bag or a fine sieve. Do not add water. Set aside to allow juice to settle. For clear jelly, do not use the portion containing sediment.

In a saucepan, measure out 1 ½ cups of juice, add 1 package of powdered pectin and bring mixture to a fast boil, stirring constantly. Add lemon or lime juice and sugar. Bring to a hard boil (one that cannot be stirred down with a spoon) and let bowl for 3 more minutes. The timing is very important to get the mixture to set up properly.

Remove from the heat, skim off the foam on top, and pour into hot canning jars, leaving ¼ inch space per jar. Wipe jar rims and put on flats and rings.

Process for 10 minutes in boiling water bath.

This makes 6 one-half pints of jelly.

Now that your jelly is setting on the counter and looking so pretty, it’s time for a little break for you!

Prickly Pear Margaritas

1 oz. Tequila
¾ oz fresh lime juice
¼ oz fresh orange juice
½ oz Prickly Pear juice
¼ oz Cointreau
1 hot chili pepper – fresh or dried
Ice and Kosher Salt

The pepper for this recipe should be seeded and diced, then combined with the other ingredients in a shaker. Once combined, allow the ingredients to sit for 15 minutes, then add ice and strain out the pepper and the ice before serving. Moisten glass rims with lime juice and dip in kosher salt. Pour into margarita glass, garnish with lime slice and enjoy!

Until next time, warm days and starry nights to you –

The Prickly Pear Queens